Time For My Yearly Update

Ok – here’s the thing: for as long as I can remember, people I know have been telling me I should write a book. One thing you should know about me is I have these grandiose ideas and all the best intentions in the world, but I simply don’t have the patience to undertake something as significant as an entire novel. Weaving one storyline into another and having it all come out at the end in one simple ending with a tidy bow is just not my style. Maybe someday…but for now, I’m going to give it a shot in the only way I think is possible: a book of short stories loosely based on real events. And when I say “loosely based,” I mean “actual events according to my memory with names changed.” To anyone who may be part of these stories, consider this your warning call and let me apologize in advance for my narcissistic view on life and my self-importance in things that in actuality have very little to do with me. What can I say? Not only are we our own worst critics, sometimes we’re our own biggest fans.

Anyway – there’s only one way for this to work and that is to be completely and utterly honest and forthcoming in these stories and adventures. That being said, there are a few things you should know about me:

1.      I like shitty music and it’s a big factor in remembering certain things about certain points in my life (yes, I know – we’re all like that), so occasionally I may reference a song/album/artist or nine to remind me to stay on track.

2.      A lot of these stories will only be interesting to me and those who are an active part of my life. I suppose they may be interesting to those who were part of the stories at the time, but I’m not entirely sure those people will be flattered by my opinion or perspective of them. As mentioned before, names will be changed, so unless you’re a part of the story I’m planning on writing, you may not even know it’s anything but a really boring tale.

3.      I’m selfish in a lot of ways even though I try not to be. I’ll do my best to go back and reread to make sure I’m not making any obvious mistakes, but to be completely honest, I’m really only doing this because I don’t know what else to do right now and I need an outlet. I can’t say for sure this will continue past this one post because my motivation is fleeting and many times it takes a lot for me to open up a Word file and put my thoughts on screen. I don’t particularly care if anyone likes or reads it – it’s merely an outlet for my frustrations and to help me get a decent night sleep.

4.      I’ll probably reference my previous travels a lot because Jacksonville doesn’t really have a whole lot going for it in terms of scenic, historic, or interesting sights. A lot of what I draw on happened a significant time ago and since that is the case, my memory certainly isn’t what it used to be, so I’m giving myself creative range to reasonably fill the stories as I see fit.

5.      By all accounts, I’m not a very good writer, so don’t be surprised to see unfortunate changes in tense, person, etc. Again, I will do my best to catch this, but the continuity effect is widely lost on me.

6.      These points aren’t really in order of importance, but since I have you this far, I think you’ll pretty much read anything I put on the page. I’m not exactly sure how long each “story” will be, but the premise is pretty simple: I have one of those calendars that has a witty saying for each month. So, for each one of those sayings, I’ll write a story it reminds me of. Many of them will be far-fetched and have nothing to do with the actual quote – but here’s where I say “it’s my book and I can do whatever I want, so fuck you.”

7.      I curse a lot. A lot a lot…so if that’s not quite your bag, I suggest you move along quickly. One of my general rules in life is to not censor myself in many situations that don’t require it. My day job is one of those unfortunate circumstances where I’m not allowed to say everything I want or how I want. I’m sure I would be fired by now if I took those liberties, so there’s not much I can do there. This book/blog/whatever the fuck you call it is an entirely different story. Granted, there are not a lot of people out sharing the same name, but anyone who reads this will have some kind of connection to me, so I’m not entirely worried about it. Besides – work is FUCKING BORING, so why would I write about that?

8.      My inspiration for this came along a few weeks ago. Apparently November is “write your own novel” month and the girlfriend said I should take a shot. I gave it some thought and went for a run. On my jog, I went through some of the stuff I would say in this opening and it was all much more clever in my mind than it’s coming out on the page (as is usually the case). In true Justin fashion, I planned out a very brief outline for what I might want to write about according to my little calendar scheme and promptly sat on it for 2 weeks.

9.      So, here’s the plan: tonight is my prologue of sorts and putting my intentions out there in hopes one or two of the people who actually read this will hold me to my pledge. I want to write one story every two weeks to post on this blog to potentially gauge interest and most importantly have an outlet for my personal rage that has been building over the last few months. Some of the best times of my life were described in previous posts in this page and hopefully I’ll be able to relay a few more in the coming months.

Kind of awkward to leave it at nine things, isn’t it? Oh well – can’t be helped, I suppose. Last thing before I leave it alone for now: as with all my previous posts, I’m always open for criticism (constructive or otherwise), so if you have something to say about anything at all, please do leave a comment. Hate it, love it, are indifferent about it – let me know and I’ll take it in, chew it up a bit, then see what gets digested.

As for next time, the first post/chapter is called “It may be the antidepressants talking, but I’m feeling somewhat optimistic about 2012.” Starting off in a nice contradiction, it will focus mostly on the summer of 2010 and my months leading up to the move to London. Some characters you can look forward to meeting: The Energizer Bunny and Twilight (has very little to do with the book/movie series, I promise). Until then…