Ok...here we are. It's been a while since my last entry and a lot has happened since, so I'm going to attempt to bring brass tacks and leave little to the imagination.
This will essentially be the third installment of the saga of my “will Justin stay in the UK after his bullshit internship is over in August” story. As you have read previously, I was offered a job to stay and I have been wrestling with the idea of staying or leaving once my year is over. I have previously mentioned I would be a complete fucking moron for leaving this offer on the table, as I still think might be valid, but based on the current circumstances, things have changed. As far as I am aware, the offer is still on the table, but new items have come to light, specifically the visa requirements and my own salary needs.
First things first: visa restrictions have been established where it is near impossible to continue to work in the UK without being a resident. I understand the requirements as unemployment is at an all-time high and they would prefer jobs to go to residents rather than assholes such as myself. Another consideration is the salary requirement I would need. In order to work and live here beyond this year, I would need to be paid far beyond what anyone in the industry would consider fair. The normal starting salary for my position is not enough for me to live comfortably and also be able to pay all bills, etc. on time. It just isn't possible. This is one of the things I never fully considered when thinking this was possible in the first place. Maybe it was based on over-confidence, or thinking they need me more than I need them, etc. but the fact remains, my potential offer will be less than I will need to live comfortably, or at the very least able to pay all bills and attempt to live with just a little money left over.
Now...when it was first presented to me, I was fully on board. I was there...no questions asked, I'm there. After a few months of thinking about it, the novelty has worn off. I think I was caught up in the “new-ness” of the whole thing, thinking it was cool that someone thought enough of me to offer a job to stay without thinking of the long-term effects. Granted, most of the people I talked to were all for me staying and confirming my thought of being a complete fuck if I were to turn it down...which helped at first. However, eventually I came to the realization that I don't really want to stay and it was all just hype based on the original offer.
It took quite a bit to convince myself I didn't really want to stay when I was previously entirely committed to it. Essentially, this is what it came down to: I went back to Ohio for a week, saw people I haven't for a few months, etc. It ended up being a pretty good week as a whole, but once I was back in London, things were different. Saving you from complete boredom, my decision came to this: I was waiting for a friend of mine to let me in to Tower 3 at Ability Towers when I saw a few of the new intake of interns speaking freely and making it obvious they were new to the program. After it became exceedingly obvious they were in the new intake, I thought to myself “wow...they're new and they have the entire year in front of them...fuck...that really blows for them.”
Given my thoughts on the situation, how can I possibly expect myself to stay after the year has ended when I feel sorry for those who have just one more year left? I can't...therefore I cannot, in good conscience allow myself to stay beyond August. Which means I need to let my bosses know I have to decline any offer they may still have outstanding so they can offer it to another intern or give another full time position in my place.
I've been thinking of writing this for a few days now and I had a lot more I wanted to say, but a lot of it has fallen away because it's really not that important. The fact is, a job was offered, I wanted it...thought about it...and then decided it wasn't for me. That's it. Now, I have to decide what location is best for me, and that will be exceedingly difficult. It means choosing between multiple locations including Chicago, IL, Charlotte, NC, Raleigh, NC, Jacksonville, FL, San Francisco CA, Los Angeles, CA, Phoenix, AZ and Northwest Ohio, among others. I don't know what I'll choose and I don't know what will come of whatever I choose, but I do know whatever I do choose will be interesting and I look forward to starting a new life when I leave here.
Until then...
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Sneaky Beers, Anyone?
Hello friends...it's been a while, no? Let's go ahead and give this another chapter, shall we? Like it or not, you have no choice...
Since I last left you, I had been contemplating on if I should take this job that was “offered” or not. Well...as I'm sure you can imagine, circumstances have changed...on their end and on mine. Let's focus on their end first since my end is a bit too much for me to handle right now and I don't want to even begin to contemplate the options. I think that's better for all involved at this point.
Anyway – back to the issue at hand. Nearly a month ago I wrote a post that was entirely too long and disgustingly boring (probably both happening here as well, suppose you're used to that already) outlining my situation. In a nutshell: job was offered to stay in London for the foreseeable future and it was up to me to take or leave. I did neither. I said I was interested and to give me all the info possible and only then could I actually make a decision whether to stay or not. I have no additional hard information, only information that makes it seem as though I have slightly misunderstood the situation.
Shortly after my then boss made it known she would like me to stay after my initial year, I was to be on holiday since my brother Jared and our friend Nick were coming to my humble abode to slum it for a week. Without going into too much detail (I'm sure either Jared or I have gone into entirely too much to anyone actually reading this), it was a really fun week and I'm really glad they took the time out to make it out to visit. So once they made their way back States-side, I unfortunately (or fortunately) had to go back to work the day after they left. Once I was back, I was informed our work group had radically changed and we were now reporting to a different executive director and would be moved to a new group entirely. At the time, I was so overwhelmed by the amount of work I was supposed to be catching up on, I wasn't able to give it much though. Only after a day or so was I able to sit back, breathe for a second and actually wonder what the fuck it actually meant for my situation.
My question was answered a few days later: it meant nothing as far as I was concerned. Well...according to my boss, it meant nothing. A few days after the news was given, the higher-ups met with the new ED and my situation was discussed. According to the boss, the new ED was/is on board with keeping me past the year and is working on getting things in line. Call me skeptical, but I'm not buying it. Yes, stranger things have happened, but all I've heard for the past month is how difficult it is to get a work visa for the UK. If this is the case (I have no reason to deny), I have my doubts about the sincerity of the offer as it stands especially since they would be wasting this sacred piece of clearance on a small-time intern from operations. It seems as though they should be reserving these documents for people of some higher importance than I can bring to the table...but again – stranger things have happened.
I am a terrible story teller – my apologies, but I need a bit of a rewind. Prior to my holiday, I was asked to set up a meeting with our now former ED for a “catch up” which essentially means an informal review given a few times a year. This guy is pretty high up and for someone like me to get a one-to-one with him is pretty rare, so of course I was obliged to set it up. I originally took it as a kind of impromptu interview for my potential new position, which was somewhat confirmed by my now former boss. OK – rewind over. The meeting was set for today at 3PM. These meetings usually go a little something like this: meeting scheduled for 3PM, reminder goes off at 2:45, 2:55 and 3PM on the dot. Around 3:05, a chat message pops up from the person you're supposed to be meeting with asking if the arrangement is still necessary and also where this massive waste of their time is taking place. 2:45 hits and I get my first reminder about the meeting. I start to prepare myself for the inevitable chat message and attempt to find my meeting partner on the company chat program. I search for his first name and cannot find it among the results. OK...I've seen this before...guess I'll just have to search for the last name. The search comes up with zero results...hmm...interesting. Quick question for the boss...”hey – is Ian (that's not his real name) still with the company?” “No – why? Did you still have that meeting?” Awesome...
Now I have zero idea what to expect. I have a few predictions though...well – just one, really. They forget about everything. They forget I'm sitting here waiting for someone to say something, waiting for someone to let me know what's going on, waiting for anything...and I'm just going to sit and wait too. At this point, I'm fine with the waiting game because I don't think anything will really come of it anyway. There are times when I wish they would just come out with it and say they've redacted the offer because they simply don't have the room to keep me on or have the visa to waste. I'm waiting for it...I'm expecting it...then again – I've never been the most positive person in the world, so it's really not a new thought process. My expectations for them: nothing happens and I leave mid-August for a job in the States I've secured on my own with no help from anyone, which is just as well since I would prefer to do it myself anyway.
I'm still going to leave my end alone because I don't know what's going to happen and would rather try to take things on as they come to me. I know it isn't going to work like that, but I'm going to try my best to let it. We all have certain expectations on how things will work out, but it rarely goes the way we want. I do want my expectations to work...and the only way I can think to have it happen that way is to not do anything, just let it all fall the way it will. Generally, everything has a strange way of working out in the end regardless of what we do or what we prefer...so that's what I'm doing – I'm going to let things happen and do my best to not worry about the fallout. Yes...that's all you're getting...yes, I know - I suck...
As always – any questions, I'll do my best.
Since I last left you, I had been contemplating on if I should take this job that was “offered” or not. Well...as I'm sure you can imagine, circumstances have changed...on their end and on mine. Let's focus on their end first since my end is a bit too much for me to handle right now and I don't want to even begin to contemplate the options. I think that's better for all involved at this point.
Anyway – back to the issue at hand. Nearly a month ago I wrote a post that was entirely too long and disgustingly boring (probably both happening here as well, suppose you're used to that already) outlining my situation. In a nutshell: job was offered to stay in London for the foreseeable future and it was up to me to take or leave. I did neither. I said I was interested and to give me all the info possible and only then could I actually make a decision whether to stay or not. I have no additional hard information, only information that makes it seem as though I have slightly misunderstood the situation.
Shortly after my then boss made it known she would like me to stay after my initial year, I was to be on holiday since my brother Jared and our friend Nick were coming to my humble abode to slum it for a week. Without going into too much detail (I'm sure either Jared or I have gone into entirely too much to anyone actually reading this), it was a really fun week and I'm really glad they took the time out to make it out to visit. So once they made their way back States-side, I unfortunately (or fortunately) had to go back to work the day after they left. Once I was back, I was informed our work group had radically changed and we were now reporting to a different executive director and would be moved to a new group entirely. At the time, I was so overwhelmed by the amount of work I was supposed to be catching up on, I wasn't able to give it much though. Only after a day or so was I able to sit back, breathe for a second and actually wonder what the fuck it actually meant for my situation.
My question was answered a few days later: it meant nothing as far as I was concerned. Well...according to my boss, it meant nothing. A few days after the news was given, the higher-ups met with the new ED and my situation was discussed. According to the boss, the new ED was/is on board with keeping me past the year and is working on getting things in line. Call me skeptical, but I'm not buying it. Yes, stranger things have happened, but all I've heard for the past month is how difficult it is to get a work visa for the UK. If this is the case (I have no reason to deny), I have my doubts about the sincerity of the offer as it stands especially since they would be wasting this sacred piece of clearance on a small-time intern from operations. It seems as though they should be reserving these documents for people of some higher importance than I can bring to the table...but again – stranger things have happened.
I am a terrible story teller – my apologies, but I need a bit of a rewind. Prior to my holiday, I was asked to set up a meeting with our now former ED for a “catch up” which essentially means an informal review given a few times a year. This guy is pretty high up and for someone like me to get a one-to-one with him is pretty rare, so of course I was obliged to set it up. I originally took it as a kind of impromptu interview for my potential new position, which was somewhat confirmed by my now former boss. OK – rewind over. The meeting was set for today at 3PM. These meetings usually go a little something like this: meeting scheduled for 3PM, reminder goes off at 2:45, 2:55 and 3PM on the dot. Around 3:05, a chat message pops up from the person you're supposed to be meeting with asking if the arrangement is still necessary and also where this massive waste of their time is taking place. 2:45 hits and I get my first reminder about the meeting. I start to prepare myself for the inevitable chat message and attempt to find my meeting partner on the company chat program. I search for his first name and cannot find it among the results. OK...I've seen this before...guess I'll just have to search for the last name. The search comes up with zero results...hmm...interesting. Quick question for the boss...”hey – is Ian (that's not his real name) still with the company?” “No – why? Did you still have that meeting?” Awesome...
Now I have zero idea what to expect. I have a few predictions though...well – just one, really. They forget about everything. They forget I'm sitting here waiting for someone to say something, waiting for someone to let me know what's going on, waiting for anything...and I'm just going to sit and wait too. At this point, I'm fine with the waiting game because I don't think anything will really come of it anyway. There are times when I wish they would just come out with it and say they've redacted the offer because they simply don't have the room to keep me on or have the visa to waste. I'm waiting for it...I'm expecting it...then again – I've never been the most positive person in the world, so it's really not a new thought process. My expectations for them: nothing happens and I leave mid-August for a job in the States I've secured on my own with no help from anyone, which is just as well since I would prefer to do it myself anyway.
I'm still going to leave my end alone because I don't know what's going to happen and would rather try to take things on as they come to me. I know it isn't going to work like that, but I'm going to try my best to let it. We all have certain expectations on how things will work out, but it rarely goes the way we want. I do want my expectations to work...and the only way I can think to have it happen that way is to not do anything, just let it all fall the way it will. Generally, everything has a strange way of working out in the end regardless of what we do or what we prefer...so that's what I'm doing – I'm going to let things happen and do my best to not worry about the fallout. Yes...that's all you're getting...yes, I know - I suck...
As always – any questions, I'll do my best.
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