You Can't Get the Pretty Without the Boom

When I left you last, I was on the cusp of welcoming the entire family to London for an entire week of visit-related fun. I really don't have much to say about it other than it went as near to what I expected as possible and I think it's safe to say we're all glad to be back to whatever level of normalcy can be expected from our daily lives. Without going into much detail, there were a lot of fun times, some yelling, a lot of annoyance, but overall a successful visit, especially since everyone made it out alive. If you want stories, ask someone who was there to give the top three moments (they're probably all the same) and I'm sure they'll have no problem giving their version of what happened...myself included. That's about all I have to say about that...

Anyway, other than the family trip, things have been fairly hectic for me as well. After finding out the work offer had been revoked (I swear, the last time I'll mention it), I started my own job search with a frantic quality only seen in meth addicts. In the last few weeks, I have secured my very own recruiter based in Chicago and New York, my bosses have massaged a few leads (also in those cities), I have acquired a UBS lead in Chicago, applications/resumes/CVs have been feverishly sent to nearly thirty jobs in about a half dozen companies in four or five cities in the States. As you would probably expect, I have yet to hear from anyone regarding an interview or even the slightest interest in my services. Insert the normal excuses about the job market, timing, relocation costs, etc...but I do realize I have a few months here still and shouldn't really be worried too much..at least not yet. But the word “yet.”

Lets get away from the boring job stuff now and talk about something more fun...or at least what I would consider fun. The last few weeks have seen me in more different countries than probably the last 8 months combined, which is nice and also annoying at the same time. It may sound strange, but I'm not really the biggest fan of traveling...at all. It just seems more of a hassle than anything and I enjoy my comforts of home entirely too much to leave them very often. However, as I now only have a limited time over here, I feel like I have to take advantage of it by going as many places as possible in the next few weeks before the job search consumes my entire thought process. As a result, a few weeks ago I went to Poland and the Czech Republic over a long bank holiday weekend and last night I just returned from Spain. A few highlights of each place:

Prague, CZ: I was in both Prague and Krakow for a few days over the last bank holiday weekend with two of my flatmates, Art and Brian. We left on a Thursday afternoon getting into Prague around 10PM. Upon arrival of the hostel, we discover there is a bar located on the ground floor where we sampled the local offerings almost immediately. Another member of our program had been in Prague for a day earlier and we met up with him near the bar area. About a half hour later, Brian was scanning the bar when he turns to Art and me and says he recognizes a few of the girls from the end of the bar. Turns out, a few girls he went to college with in Texas were randomly in Prague the same weekend we were and two of them are doing a study abroad program for a master's type degree, or maybe the CZ equivalent. Naturally, we end up meeting them at another bar later on where all kinds of madness ensues, especially since the Czech Koruna is an extremely weak currency compared to the British Pound, meaning a beer at a higher end bar/club is about the equivalent of a pound and a half. Madness indeed...

The next night we partake in a bar crawl which starts at our hostel, takes us to one of the same bars we were at the night before along with three others. On the crawl, we meet a multitude of people, many being from the US on vacation. Side note: casual readers of this blog who may not know me personally might not know what happens sometimes when I have a bit too much to drink. I have what I call an alter-ego named Rufus who kind of takes over my psyche under certain circumstances and generally speaking...it can be quite interesting. Rufus has his own back story that completely differs from mine and there are quite a few people around the Bowling Green and London areas that know me only as Rufus. It's almost like split-personality disorder, except I know it happens and allow it...does that make sense? Eh...who cares, nobody's listening.

Anyway, there was a particular person on this bar crawl that made it known she graduated from Penn State. It was at that moment that Rufus decided he graduated from the University of Michigan and took it upon himself to completely belittle and destroy this woman's Alma Mater and the opinion she held it in. Don't ask me why...it's just kind of what he does. Safe to say she's not a fan, but that will happen. Aside from this woman coming up and repeating the same sentence about fifty times (“I really enjoyed my college experience”), the night proved to be extremely fun. The last club on the bar crawl was a five-story joint right on the river which supposedly had a different vibe and type of music on each level. Needless to say, I didn't stay very long as it's not exactly what could be considered my “scene.” On the way out, we caught up with one of the crawl tour guides named Yon (not too sure on the spelling) and he decided we shouldn't be done just yet. He proceeded to take a small group of us to four additional places (all of which I couldn't find again if I were paid) which sent the night into a spiraling downward slide. We ended up so far from the hostel it was necessary to find a cab to get back, and we were given the tourist “discount” (a mere 500 Koruna!) to travel the mile and a half back. The next day we took it easy, did some tourist junk and caught the over-night train to Krakow, Poland.

Krakow, Poland:

The train was something out of an Agatha Christie novel all the way down to the seedy train operator and impending sense of doom. It was an experience...that much is certain and despite having a sleeper cabin, not much sleep was had between the three of us. No, not like that...perv. We didn't have much of an agenda and not much happened while we were in Krakow except the obligatory trip to Auschwitz. The entire reason we went to Krakow was because of Auschwitz and it may have been the most psychologically and emotionally powerful place I've been to in my entire life. There is no need to re-hash the details, but I will say this: if you ever have the opportunity or means to go...do it. You will never be the same. It is my opinion that every single person should be required to go and see this place because you will never interpret your life the same again. Whether you were personally affected by what happened at this hellish place or not, it will alter you in one way or another. Definitely a must in my book.

Other than Auschwitz, we had the required food staples: Polish sausage, perogies, and vodka. Being as picky an eater as I am, it was food heaven...you can't get much better than kielbasa, meat and potato filled perogies and bread. It gives me half-stock just thinking about it...

Barcelona, Spain:

Last night at 11:30PM, we landed at London-Stansted airport to weather one would normally expect from London: cold and rainy. Normally this wouldn't be a big issue as those who have been around this city for an extended period of time would know it's inevitable, but I had just flown in from Barcelona where it was an incredibly amazing mid-nineties and sunny every day. Three glorious days where I saw the sun in its full force for the first time in eight or nine months. Barcelona was just about everything you could expect from it: superb weather, great food and drink, and many relaxing hours on the beach. The events in Barca would take an entire post in itself, so again, the highlights:

I met up with friends from here and one of their friends from the US on Wednesday (they had been there since Monday) and we undertook the prerequisite bar crawl. Again, I won't go into many details (mostly because I don't remember, although I believe Rufus made an appearance again), but there were many bars, many drinks, many laughs and more embarrassing dancing than I would care to admit. The night ended with a long walk back to the hostel after most of my party were yelling at the crawl organizer for not taking us to the amount of bars he promised (he took us to four...and four were promised, for the record) while he was slinking into a cab. The two girls were staying at a swanky hotel on the beach while the two guys were at a seedy hostel in the city, so we walked the girls to a common meeting place (the backward statue of Columbus) and sent them on their beach journey while we stumbled back to the hostel. As we were walking up La Rambla, on three separate occasions, the hoards of prostitutes walking the streets decided to take their chances and see if I was desperate enough to get herpegohnasyphiaids and hand over some precious monopoly money. Sorry ladies...it wouldn't happen even if you paid me. Just a few blocks later and I was able to melt into my bed for the next 10 hours, attempting to ward off the inevitable headache and/or hangover.

The next day, we met up with the ladies and had a nice quiet day on the beach. Well...quiet isn't exactly the word. Literally every three to five seconds this was heard a few feet from where we were laying: “beer, cerveza, fanta, co-cola, co-cola light” or “massage?” by what seemed like hundreds of “vendors” walking the beach trying to make a quick euro. Fuck. You. Stop ruining my beach experience with your senseless chatter.

The night wasn't much better. We met for dinner (which was nice) and then went down to the beach where apparently the entire city of Barcelona met and set off obnoxious fireworks while getting loaded. Yes...normally it would sound like a pretty sweet time, but I was not in the mood for it and literally hundreds of thousands of people + alcohol + fireworks + me = not good. We walked the entire length of the beach (while one member of our party had her hands to her ears the entire time) and afterward, said our “see you laters” and made the walk back amid the firework blasts that sound oddly like gunfire. The only solace of the night was we were far enough from the beach where the fireworks didn't cost me any sleep, but that may have just been because I was so tired from the heat and walking a few miles that day.

The next and final day in Barcelona consisted of typical touristy crap, trying to kill time till the flight left at 10PM. After a long day of walking, we made it to the airport, waited, made the flight to London and discovered the cold and rain. Another lovely night in London...

Well, that's just about all I have on this today – it was a bit longer than I wanted, but if you made it this far down, thanks for reading and as always, any questions/comments/etc, go ahead and put them where you see fit.

The Final Chapter...and the VanAusdale Clan Comes to London!

Well, here we are everyone, the final chapter in “Justin is a whiny bitch” is finally here. This is the last time I will be writing about the permanent position in London because a final decision has been made...and I know it's a final decision because I'm not the one making it. So here we are: the end. I know, I know...it's about damn time, but you really should know better by now known to stop reading ages ago.

Some of you have heard this story since it happened a few weeks ago and I've been too busy to broadcast it to the world, but for those of you who haven't heard, here it is. Those of you who have heard it...tough shit, read it again. A few weeks ago, I was sitting in my work area, minding my own business and toiling away at yet another work day when I get an email notification from one of my bosses for a “catch up” meeting. As soon as I saw the notification, I knew exactly what it was about: they finally figured out their end of the visa/job situation and this was the meeting that settled once and for all if I was staying in London or leaving for some unknown part of the US.

So, as I sat there over the next 27 hours wondering what the outcome would be, contemplating my unknown options, I John Kerry'd the fuck out of the decision as is my usual style. I went from being certain I would be taking the offer if there was one, to being certain I would decline, to completely indifferent on the situation as a whole, and back to just seeing what would happen and taking it from there. Pretty much the last 3 months worth of thoughts and worry just rehashed in a shorter amount of time.

Turns out, it was all for naught as they said what I had been expecting for months: the visa would be impossible to get and therefore, I would not have the option to stay anymore. They offered their apologies, blah blah blah, and I didn't have to be the bad guy and tell them I was having second thoughts about staying. Basically, it worked out for the best because it would not come down to me making a decision. The decision was made for me and I'm happy with how it happened because I'm a little bitch who can't get his mind right enough to make a final choice. Regardless, I now get the added benefit of them taking the blame for the situation, so they'll be helping me get a job somewhere in the States with UBS should I decide to go that route. Turns out everything I wrote and the hours I spent agonizing about this decision were all for nothing...but it can always be worse. So, congratulations, USA, I'm coming back to stay after all. I'm sure you'll all agree with me when I say I'm glad this whole fucking mess is behind me. No more talk about this...I'm done.

Now that we're all done with that, the news of the hour is the VanAusdale clan is currently at the Columbus airport about to make their way across the Atlantic (notice, I did not use the bullshit cliché saying that EVERYONE makes...it's tired...let it go) to visit for the week in London. If everyone makes it out of here alive, I'll be truly shocked. All six of us in one city for 10 days in VERY close quarters is going to take its toll on all involved. I'm certain we'll all be glad to get back to our regular lives after this time is over.

The last time we had a family vacation, it was July of last year consisting of visits to Philly, New York city, Boston, and Niagara Falls (USA side). Lets just say tempers flared just a tad during that week and we were all glad to get back to normal life and some kind of solitude. Now add the mental mindfuck of international travel, the complications of a different currency, one of the most expensive cities in the world, and everyone being completely out of their comfort zone and I'm fairly certain we can expect frequent and more spectacular fireworks this time around. It will be an interesting week, that much is certain.

Now, don't get me wrong. As regular readers of this shitstorm I call a blog will know, I'm a big fan of my family. However, we are all very strong willed individuals, fairly argumentative, and quite bull-headed in our opinions especially when we know someone else has one that differs from ours. So, I offer a metaphor of sorts: picture a gigantic barrel of dynamite with six sticks of varying amounts of gunpowder (does dynamite have gunpowder? It does now...) and different lengths of fuses. London is the match that has been thrown into the barrel and at some point, one or more of those sticks will ignite and blow everyone to smithereens. It is a fact...this I promise you. Once the explosions are done, we can then examine the fallout, pick up any survivors, and start repairing the damage.

And now, we have a live update, breaking news, if you will...holy shit, this is my first live blog. History in the making, everyone! I have just been informed their flight from Columbus to Newark has been delayed by 30 minutes which gives them a stout 10 minutes to catch the connecting flight to London. This is the equivalent of pouring a gallon of gasoline into the aforementioned barrel and chucking an old school vampire search party torch in there for good measure. One can only hope their seats on the flight aren't booked next to each other, otherwise we may have a new record for vacation temper explosions.

So, in case you're wondering, (I'm sure you're not, but you're reading this far down, so you kind of have to finish...sucker!) the events for the week are as follows:

Saturday: Flight (tentatively) arrives around 10AM GMT, then check-in at the accommodation and probably a light day, just checking out some of the bigger touristy areas downtown.
Sunday: Potentially going on a hop-on hop-off bus tour of the major sights.
Monday: No plans as of yet (this is a trend), but hopefully something like St. Paul's cathedral or checking out Churchill’s War Rooms.
Tuesday: Train to Windsor for Windsor castle and more tourist crap.
Wednesday: Free day, potentially going to a concert, but nothing set in stone.
Thursday: Stafford/Stoke-on-Trent to see some family heritage stuff. We even have our own local tour guide!
Friday: Free day, potentially another concert (Escape the Fate) at the Underground Garage and if not, hitting the town with the brothers.
Saturday: Most likely taking it easy, tourist stuff again since the flight leaves early Sunday morning.
Sunday: Flight leaves at 1PM GMT, arriving in the States at around 3PM. Grocery shopping for me, more travel for everyone else, then driving back to their respective residences thanking christ they're still alive and kicking.
Monday: Back to work...with a smile on my face.

This is long enough for now, but in other news, I just got back from a trip to Eastern Europe to Krakow, Poland and Prague, Czech Republic. If I get bored, I'll write up a detailed report on the happenings...it was a pretty interesting trip, and definitely one of the best I've gone on thus far.

Until then...you know the deal...any questions – leave them in the comments.