Have you ever wanted to live in a castle? Here's an easy way to achieve that goal: marry a member of the Royal family. Scratch that, have you ever wanted to have a castle as a vacation house? Now you can marry a member of the Royal family and that dream will be a reality.
Yesterday I went to Windsor to check out Windsor Castle, which is the vacation house of the Royal family and has been for the last 900 years. Some people have time shares in Florida, others own a cottage in Michigan or Colorado for skiing or just to get away from their lives for a weekend every once in a while, and others still have entirely separate families living on both coasts, but unless you're disgustingly, filthy rich, you don't have a castle as your vacation house. By all accounts, the Royal family is rich, but from what I've heard from co-workers, they shouldn't be classified as “disgustingly, filthy rich.” How much money are they worth? I've heard somewhere around three hundred million for the entire family, which yes, sounds like a lot, but that amount of money could potentially be blown in a lifetime. Do you think Bill Gates or Steve Jobs could spend their fortune in their lifetimes? Even if they gave it a good, solid try, I don't think anyone could throw away a few billion like a trailer-trash lottery winner would with a few million.
Granted, my “facts” about the Royal family are not backed up by any real research, just by hearsay coming from co-workers, but they've lived here their entire life and probably know what they're talking about. My question is this: is the three hundred mill their entire net worth including houses and possessions (including all the priceless paintings, tapestries, rugs, china sets, and other furniture/furnishings) that were either bought or stolen over the last few centuries? I read yesterday there are 600 rooms in Buckingham Palace and after my visit a few months ago, I can say with first-hand knowledge that each room is packed to the brim with enough artwork to sustain any person for a lifetime if it were sold (save for that trailer-trash lotto winner, of course), let alone all the other stuff in each room that is worth more than my life. I would guess the furnishings of the houses are not included in the net worth of the Royals just because many of the paintings and pieces of furniture are priceless and just could not have an estimated worth because they will never be for sale.
Either way, if the houses, etc. are added to the net worth of the family or not, I don't believe they are all that rich because three hundred million for a family of that stature and longevity should conceivably be worth as much or more than any individual in the world. Since they're not even billionaires, they're not in the same discussion as the Gates', Jobs', or even the Waltons. Even a low-level dumb-ass prince in Saudi is probably worth more than England's entire Royal family.
I'm getting off topic...wait – there's a topic? Yes, albeit a loose topic which seems to be jumping all over the place. The point is: it must be nice to be a Royal. I spent 15 pounds to walk around and take a tour of someone's vacation house yesterday, WITH a student discount. It just so happens that “someone” is the Queen of England. I wasn't the only one either, the place was packed with people wanting to look at all the stuff this place housed. It has to be expensive to keep it running with all the guards, employees, curators, decorators, etc. not to mention utility bills, so I understand having to charge a fee to check the place out, but the only reason people wanted to see it is because it belongs to the Royal family. Same goes for Buckingham Palace. It's only open for a few months out of the year when the Queen is out of town for official meetings, but those months where it is open to the public, a constant stream of tourists and residents ambush it and pay their money to look at stuff normally only seen in a museum behind bullet proof glass. The difference is, this stuff is actually used on a fairly regular basis, such as a solid silver tea set the Queen uses a few times a year worth a few hundred thousand pounds...would anyone else even consider using it? Highly doubtful. As one would expect, Buckingham Palace is incredibly magnificent and blows Windsor Castle out of the water in all categories. Would I pay my 15 pounds to visit again? Maybe. It's that incredible. The only reason to visit is because it's Royalty related. Would anyone want to pay that amount of money just to check out some rich guy's house? Maybe, but not the volume of people who visit Windsor and Buckingham every year.
Not only do you get to live in awesome houses and look at and own pretty much anything or everything you've ever wanted, but your job is to be Royalty. You have no other responsibility other than don't be a disgrace to the Kingdom and go to charity functions, parades, and live the life of what the public perceives Royalty to be. I know, I know – it's way more complicated than that and it's probably a very stressful life, which explains why Prince William is already going bald. However, I can't help but notice Prince Harry running amok, pretty much doing whatever he pleases with little to no repercussions simply because there is no chance in hell he's ever going to be king. Once the Queen's reign ends, normal succession would be that Prince Charles takes over the crown (even though he should take a pass and hand it down to William instead), rules for a few years, then William takes over and has a reign probably as long as Elizabeth has had. Since Harry is the wild child, he'll probably die from some freak motorcycle or hang-gliding accident and the entire country will mourn, but won't really be that upset because nobody wants him to be king anyway. The crown will then pass to William's eventual child and the country will rejoice because they all love Bill and his choice of wife. I wonder if anyone has the balls to call him Bill or if that's an acceptable nickname? I'll say I would try it, but not only would I never have the chance, I would also chicken out at the last second fearing public beheading.
Speaking of William and his inevitable children, this Royal wedding is being whored out in every direction and everyone is making a huge deal out of it. All kinds of memorabilia is being sold, such as calenders, photo books, kitchen magnets, coffee mugs (complete with photoshopped faces!), and even tea spoons. It reminds me of street vendors in NYC when it started raining heavily on a recent family vacation. The street vendors had umbrellas for sale mere seconds after it started raining trying to capitalize on the stupidity of tourists (and it worked...they made a killing that day). Same goes for souvenir shops all around England now selling all kinds of merchandise related to the Royal wedding. I'm sure it's a big deal because the future king of England is getting married, and maybe because I'm only a visitor I don't understand, but at the end of the day, it's only a wedding. We've all been to weddings...some good, some bad. Granted, this will be one of the largest and most expensive weddings in the history of the world (putting a dent in that meager three hundred million net worth), but it's still only a wedding. One item related to the wedding I am very thankful for is the extra bank holiday we get because they chose a Friday to get married. Thanks William and Kate!
Anyway, that's about all I have to say about the Royal family that won't get me thrown in jail or deported, so we'll just stop there while we're ahead (or even) and call it a day. Regardless of the amount of wealth, it probably wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to be English Royalty. Then again, it probably wouldn't be the best either because of the constant spotlight and criticism. They didn't ask to be born into Royalty, but then again, nobody asks to be born into their current situation, so we deal with it. But that's an entirely different topic for another day...
One last quick story before I go: While we were looking for the entrance to the castle yesterday, we went up to one of the exits where a group of guards were standing holding impressive looking guns (the first time I have seen a gun in England since not even cops carry them) and sporting angry eyebrows. As we approach, the apparent leader separates from the pack and says something along the lines of “Can I help you?” with a shit-eating grin on his face which leads me to believe he actually wanted to say “Can I fucking help you?” I can just see the wheels turning in his head as it is very obvious this guy has had a not-so-great day. “Try something...please, I'm begging you...try to make a run for it or something, I'm just itching to break somebody in half today.” Much to his dismay, we were simply asking for the way to the ticket office so we could enter the castle with no intention of being broken in half. Sorry, lead guard dude...I feel your pain, but I would rather not have you take it out on me...I just want to pay my money and go in like a regular tourist causing no trouble while I'm on your post. Feel free to exercise this frustration on someone else while I'm watching though, that would be some real entertainment and well worth the entrance fee.
Oh, one more thing (I know, annoying...): I saw the changing of the guard at Windsor yesterday and if Buckingham's is anything like this one, I'll pass. It was extraordinarily boring and would really be awful if that was my job and I had to do this everyday while people were watching and taking pictures. OK, I'm done now. Until next time...
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
I Must Break You
I really should be at the gym right now, but my injured back will not allow me to do what I normally would, so instead of going to the gym and risk further injury, I'll write about it and all the d-bags that go there to do whatever it is they do.
I like the list thing, so let's do that again, OK? Good...you're so agreeable. Top however many things I feel like writing about that annoy the piss out of me at the gym:
1. Nobody gives a fuck about your muscles.
Let me say that again so it sinks in: nobody gives a fuck about your muscles. Nobody except you and potentially anything/anyone you're having consensual sex with, and they don't really care that much. Since nobody cares about your muscles but you, please, for the love of Chris (remember kids, Chris died for your sins...), PLEASE stop flexing in the mirror right after you do a set of whatever exercise you're doing. It makes you look stupid and everyone is making fun of you in their head. This is especially true of the gigantic asshat that does a set of situps and then “wipes his mouth” with the bottom of the t-shirt he's wearing so he can check out his sweet abs in the mirror. It just so happens the t-shirt gets stuck in his mouth while he coincidentally flexes his aforementioned sweet abs. I say again...nobody cares. Also, nobody ever will. If you want to check yourself out, do it like everyone else does and flex to yourself in your bathroom mirror. Obviously the entire reason for working out is to improve the way you look, add a few percentage points to your chances of getting laid, get rid of those man tits, or take a little off the spare tire. However, just like beating off, flexing should be done in the privacy of your own home and should be considered a one person activity.
2. It's not a social club. If you're there, do something, don't walk around aimlessly.
I've been going to the same gym for about 5 months now, and after a while people obviously start to look familiar and their routines are noticed as well. A few months ago, I noticed one kid who never seemed to be doing anything but walk around smiling like he just took a real shit after being constipated for the last 3 weeks. Once while I was doing random activities in a stationary spot, I actually tracked this kid for a solid 20 minutes and all he did was walk laps around the machines while holding a towel and a half empty water bottle. Back and forth...back and forth...kind of like he was scanning a crowd to see if he noticed his buddy waving his hand like a maniac. Or like he was a serial killer quietly scoping out his next kill and we were all none the wiser. Actually, now that I think about it, that might not be too far off...this kid is pretty creepy. It got to the point where whenever he walked past me I got distracted and really annoyed, which made me lose my count and I had to start all over again. I just want to know why he's doing it. Why isn't he doing anything? Why is he just walking around like he's waiting for a machine or a bench to open up when there are plenty available? I need answers! Or maybe I don't...I just want answers.
3. Do everyone a favor and leave your phone at home. You can be unreachable for 2 hours and be OK.
I'm probably alone in this opinion, but I always leave my phone at home while I'm at the gym for several reasons. It's distracting, it's another thing to keep track of, another thing to potentially get stolen, and it's nice to be free from being constantly contactable. During the time I'm there, not a single person knows my exact location except the people who are in the same building and for some reason, that's comforting. Others that are members at my gym are not of the same opinion. Everywhere I look there are people clutching multiple cell phones as well as their iPod or other music playing device. Obviously if your phone is your music playing device, this doesn't exactly apply to you, but in that case, I would either turn the service or the ringer off while I was there. Again – probably not a popular opinion. One person I can think of in particular has two phones and an iPod with him and routinely answers both phones while on the treadmill or elliptical machine, jumps off, has his conversation, then jumps back on the machine. Really? Was it that important where it couldn't wait? I highly doubt it. I'm of the opinion if something is an emergency right now, it still will be in an hour when I get back to my phone. Plus it gives you time to work the problem out on your own without my help, so in reality, by me leaving my phone at home during workout time, I'm helping you become a better, more self-reliant person. You're welcome.
4. If the weight is too heavy for you to do a proper, complete rep, take some weight off the bar, jackass.
You might think it looks cool if you can bench or squat a ton, but if you only do a third of a rep or your spotter is doing most of the work, you look like a complete idiot. Is it better to do less weight and lift properly or look like you can lift a lot and potentially injure yourself because you're going above your strength (or is it strempth)? Easy game, dumb ass: take some weight off and do it right. Or don't and I'll continue to ridicule you in my head while secretly hoping you break your ass when you can't handle the weight. Another fun game is when people pile on a weight they are actually able to do, but is closer to the heavy end and can't do a full set on their “warm ups” because they want to look cool. I witnessed one guy doing bicep curls with 25 kilo plates on the bar and his spotter should have counted it as a set of triceps pushes for himself. This was his first set. Nobody thinks you look cool except you. You look dumb.
Those are really the biggies, there isn't much else that isn't obvious such as machine/bench/rack stealers, people who collect dumbbells they've used and refuse to re-rack them correctly or even at all, people who cut in line for the water fountain, people who take forever to do their sets, and people who just sit and watch you while you're finishing up so they can hoard the bench or rack when just as you're done with it. Oh, and the people who have the new year's resolution to finally get off their ass and do something really need to give up already. It's annoying...we all know you're going to give up, so just do it already and leave me in peace.
On second thought, back injury be damned, I should have gone to the gym to get rid of some of this pent up aggression. Oh well...till next time.
I like the list thing, so let's do that again, OK? Good...you're so agreeable. Top however many things I feel like writing about that annoy the piss out of me at the gym:
1. Nobody gives a fuck about your muscles.
Let me say that again so it sinks in: nobody gives a fuck about your muscles. Nobody except you and potentially anything/anyone you're having consensual sex with, and they don't really care that much. Since nobody cares about your muscles but you, please, for the love of Chris (remember kids, Chris died for your sins...), PLEASE stop flexing in the mirror right after you do a set of whatever exercise you're doing. It makes you look stupid and everyone is making fun of you in their head. This is especially true of the gigantic asshat that does a set of situps and then “wipes his mouth” with the bottom of the t-shirt he's wearing so he can check out his sweet abs in the mirror. It just so happens the t-shirt gets stuck in his mouth while he coincidentally flexes his aforementioned sweet abs. I say again...nobody cares. Also, nobody ever will. If you want to check yourself out, do it like everyone else does and flex to yourself in your bathroom mirror. Obviously the entire reason for working out is to improve the way you look, add a few percentage points to your chances of getting laid, get rid of those man tits, or take a little off the spare tire. However, just like beating off, flexing should be done in the privacy of your own home and should be considered a one person activity.
2. It's not a social club. If you're there, do something, don't walk around aimlessly.
I've been going to the same gym for about 5 months now, and after a while people obviously start to look familiar and their routines are noticed as well. A few months ago, I noticed one kid who never seemed to be doing anything but walk around smiling like he just took a real shit after being constipated for the last 3 weeks. Once while I was doing random activities in a stationary spot, I actually tracked this kid for a solid 20 minutes and all he did was walk laps around the machines while holding a towel and a half empty water bottle. Back and forth...back and forth...kind of like he was scanning a crowd to see if he noticed his buddy waving his hand like a maniac. Or like he was a serial killer quietly scoping out his next kill and we were all none the wiser. Actually, now that I think about it, that might not be too far off...this kid is pretty creepy. It got to the point where whenever he walked past me I got distracted and really annoyed, which made me lose my count and I had to start all over again. I just want to know why he's doing it. Why isn't he doing anything? Why is he just walking around like he's waiting for a machine or a bench to open up when there are plenty available? I need answers! Or maybe I don't...I just want answers.
3. Do everyone a favor and leave your phone at home. You can be unreachable for 2 hours and be OK.
I'm probably alone in this opinion, but I always leave my phone at home while I'm at the gym for several reasons. It's distracting, it's another thing to keep track of, another thing to potentially get stolen, and it's nice to be free from being constantly contactable. During the time I'm there, not a single person knows my exact location except the people who are in the same building and for some reason, that's comforting. Others that are members at my gym are not of the same opinion. Everywhere I look there are people clutching multiple cell phones as well as their iPod or other music playing device. Obviously if your phone is your music playing device, this doesn't exactly apply to you, but in that case, I would either turn the service or the ringer off while I was there. Again – probably not a popular opinion. One person I can think of in particular has two phones and an iPod with him and routinely answers both phones while on the treadmill or elliptical machine, jumps off, has his conversation, then jumps back on the machine. Really? Was it that important where it couldn't wait? I highly doubt it. I'm of the opinion if something is an emergency right now, it still will be in an hour when I get back to my phone. Plus it gives you time to work the problem out on your own without my help, so in reality, by me leaving my phone at home during workout time, I'm helping you become a better, more self-reliant person. You're welcome.
4. If the weight is too heavy for you to do a proper, complete rep, take some weight off the bar, jackass.
You might think it looks cool if you can bench or squat a ton, but if you only do a third of a rep or your spotter is doing most of the work, you look like a complete idiot. Is it better to do less weight and lift properly or look like you can lift a lot and potentially injure yourself because you're going above your strength (or is it strempth)? Easy game, dumb ass: take some weight off and do it right. Or don't and I'll continue to ridicule you in my head while secretly hoping you break your ass when you can't handle the weight. Another fun game is when people pile on a weight they are actually able to do, but is closer to the heavy end and can't do a full set on their “warm ups” because they want to look cool. I witnessed one guy doing bicep curls with 25 kilo plates on the bar and his spotter should have counted it as a set of triceps pushes for himself. This was his first set. Nobody thinks you look cool except you. You look dumb.
Those are really the biggies, there isn't much else that isn't obvious such as machine/bench/rack stealers, people who collect dumbbells they've used and refuse to re-rack them correctly or even at all, people who cut in line for the water fountain, people who take forever to do their sets, and people who just sit and watch you while you're finishing up so they can hoard the bench or rack when just as you're done with it. Oh, and the people who have the new year's resolution to finally get off their ass and do something really need to give up already. It's annoying...we all know you're going to give up, so just do it already and leave me in peace.
On second thought, back injury be damned, I should have gone to the gym to get rid of some of this pent up aggression. Oh well...till next time.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Anyone Have a Rusty Screwdriver?
OK...this has gone on far enough. I was going to let it go and it was never really my intention to write about this because I wasn't entirely sure I could write an entire post on this tiny, insignificant subject, but it has gotten to the point where I believe it's necessary. Plus I haven't written in a while and the words have been getting stuck in my head and keeping me awake, so I need a purge. Deal with it. Here's a small disclaimer: if this post relates to you or your behavior – I'm not necessarily calling you out...but you might consider changing this specific trait because it's fucking annoying. FYI.
On to the meat of the subject. What I'm referring to is the unnecessary addition of letters to the end of words, most specifically used on Facebook and generally only done by the female population. I'll give you an example I just made up because I can't find a specific one on my page right now since I probably deleted most people who display this horrific behavior (don't worry, I'm not a big enough asshole to actually call anyone out in particular):
Random girl: Ohhh myyy Godddd....texxxxxttttt meeeee!!!! (just typing that out almost made me throw up in my mouth a little bit)
Not the best example, but I'm fairly certain you know what I mean. Chances are, unless you either don't have Facebook or you're only friends with people like me, you've seen an example of the above tragic murdering of the English language. I would say this is similar to those who actually use the term “LOL” in real, live, everyday conversation and are being completely serious (“real, live” meaning non-text, face to face interaction). I will steal a line from my favorite TV show (Californication...if you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it) in regards to the “LOL” comment in which the lead character says “Every time you use the term “LOL,” you're contributing to the death of the English language.” OK, so that might not be the exact quote, but it's close...plus almost nobody who reads this will know the difference (except maybe one, you know who you are).
I used a lot of parentheses in that last paragraph (sorry), but back on the subject. I don't know how this started or why it took off like it did, but before I purged my Facebook friend list of those people I don't really know or don't care to ever talk to, my page was inundated with examples of the above behavior. Every time I saw it, I wanted to rip my eyes out with a rusty screwdriver and throw them at the computer screen while screaming curses from the bottom of my lungs (why is it “screaming at the top of my lungs?” I would think a scream from the bottom of my lungs would have better legs than one from the top, ya know?). A while ago, I had this “friend” (well, I wouldn't say friend exactly, but for lack of a better term and to keep this PG-13, I suppose friend will have to do) who used my computer to check her Facebook page and wrote a post using the aforementioned excess characters, to which I asked why she adds them. Her answer? “I don't know...I just do.” Really? That's it? You don't know why? Doesn't seem like a very good answer to me. However, I would imagine that's probably the answer you would get most often when confronting those who make me want to pull an American Psycho and smash them in the face with an ax, a la Jared Leto. What's the purpose? What's the meaning? Why? This is what keeps me up at night (well, not really, but you get the point). Why purposefully make yourself sound even more stupid than you already do with the misuse of grammar, punctuation, and addition of excess letters? My writing is not free of errors, and I use unnecessary ellipses a lot, but I spell-check, re-read my work, and try my best to make sure as many are caught as possible before publishing anything. I'm getting on a soap box here, so I should stop before I get too deep into the preaching.
Speaking of people sounding stupid, another one of those “I don't understand” things is the misuse of “they're,” “their,” “there,” “your,” and “you're.” I'll keep this section brief because if I get too far in, I might have a brain aneurism. I'm not going to educate you on when to use which because a quick Google search will tell you all you need to know and more on that subject. What I am going to do is beg, plead, bribe, or even ask you nicely to do the said Google search and start using them correctly before I quietly go insane with unchecked fury. This is quite possibly the most commonly used and easiest grammar mistake to correct, and yet so many people are OK with living their lives sounding like a complete idiot to the majority of people who have the 15 brain cells required to use the above words correctly.
As I've previously stated, my writing is probably riddled with errors, so I'm not counting myself out of the idiot majority, but I attempt to fix it as much as I can before anyone reads it but me. However, you will NEVER see me post anything related to the excess character phenomenon, and will probably never see me use any derivative of “their” or “your” incorrectly. I've been considering getting rid of Facebook altogether lately, but whenever I see anything such as the above on my page, I immediately consider deleting the offending party so I never have to see them do it again. I can count on one hand those who are still my friends on that site who perform the said actions...if you're one of them and are reading this, beware – your days may be numbered.
There's that soap box again...dammit! In closing, I have a request: if you are one of those people that make me silently whisper death threats over a broadband connection, can you tell me why you do it? Why do you add the extra letters? What is the purpose? Peer pressure? Do you have a key stuck and your delete button is broken? Give me a good reason and I promise I'll shut up about it (actually, I won't, but I'll at least hear you out). Post a comment here or on the inevitable Facebook post and tell me why. I'm so curious it's bordering on insanity...maybe a little extreme, but what can I say? I enjoy reading anything that is well-written and as close to error free as possible. Maybe not anything, but I think you know what I mean.
I think that's about all I have to say on the subject, even though writing it out really didn't help with the slow boil of rage I feel whenever I think about having to read another post written by a 20 something female masquerading as a 12 year old girl. I suppose I'll just have to deal with the reality that I'm in the minority here and this behavior is probably here to stay. I will have my say about it though... (shit, there goes the damn ellipses again).
As always, if anyone has any specific questions, just post a comment and I'll do my best to answer.
On to the meat of the subject. What I'm referring to is the unnecessary addition of letters to the end of words, most specifically used on Facebook and generally only done by the female population. I'll give you an example I just made up because I can't find a specific one on my page right now since I probably deleted most people who display this horrific behavior (don't worry, I'm not a big enough asshole to actually call anyone out in particular):
Random girl: Ohhh myyy Godddd....texxxxxttttt meeeee!!!! (just typing that out almost made me throw up in my mouth a little bit)
Not the best example, but I'm fairly certain you know what I mean. Chances are, unless you either don't have Facebook or you're only friends with people like me, you've seen an example of the above tragic murdering of the English language. I would say this is similar to those who actually use the term “LOL” in real, live, everyday conversation and are being completely serious (“real, live” meaning non-text, face to face interaction). I will steal a line from my favorite TV show (Californication...if you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it) in regards to the “LOL” comment in which the lead character says “Every time you use the term “LOL,” you're contributing to the death of the English language.” OK, so that might not be the exact quote, but it's close...plus almost nobody who reads this will know the difference (except maybe one, you know who you are).
I used a lot of parentheses in that last paragraph (sorry), but back on the subject. I don't know how this started or why it took off like it did, but before I purged my Facebook friend list of those people I don't really know or don't care to ever talk to, my page was inundated with examples of the above behavior. Every time I saw it, I wanted to rip my eyes out with a rusty screwdriver and throw them at the computer screen while screaming curses from the bottom of my lungs (why is it “screaming at the top of my lungs?” I would think a scream from the bottom of my lungs would have better legs than one from the top, ya know?). A while ago, I had this “friend” (well, I wouldn't say friend exactly, but for lack of a better term and to keep this PG-13, I suppose friend will have to do) who used my computer to check her Facebook page and wrote a post using the aforementioned excess characters, to which I asked why she adds them. Her answer? “I don't know...I just do.” Really? That's it? You don't know why? Doesn't seem like a very good answer to me. However, I would imagine that's probably the answer you would get most often when confronting those who make me want to pull an American Psycho and smash them in the face with an ax, a la Jared Leto. What's the purpose? What's the meaning? Why? This is what keeps me up at night (well, not really, but you get the point). Why purposefully make yourself sound even more stupid than you already do with the misuse of grammar, punctuation, and addition of excess letters? My writing is not free of errors, and I use unnecessary ellipses a lot, but I spell-check, re-read my work, and try my best to make sure as many are caught as possible before publishing anything. I'm getting on a soap box here, so I should stop before I get too deep into the preaching.
Speaking of people sounding stupid, another one of those “I don't understand” things is the misuse of “they're,” “their,” “there,” “your,” and “you're.” I'll keep this section brief because if I get too far in, I might have a brain aneurism. I'm not going to educate you on when to use which because a quick Google search will tell you all you need to know and more on that subject. What I am going to do is beg, plead, bribe, or even ask you nicely to do the said Google search and start using them correctly before I quietly go insane with unchecked fury. This is quite possibly the most commonly used and easiest grammar mistake to correct, and yet so many people are OK with living their lives sounding like a complete idiot to the majority of people who have the 15 brain cells required to use the above words correctly.
As I've previously stated, my writing is probably riddled with errors, so I'm not counting myself out of the idiot majority, but I attempt to fix it as much as I can before anyone reads it but me. However, you will NEVER see me post anything related to the excess character phenomenon, and will probably never see me use any derivative of “their” or “your” incorrectly. I've been considering getting rid of Facebook altogether lately, but whenever I see anything such as the above on my page, I immediately consider deleting the offending party so I never have to see them do it again. I can count on one hand those who are still my friends on that site who perform the said actions...if you're one of them and are reading this, beware – your days may be numbered.
There's that soap box again...dammit! In closing, I have a request: if you are one of those people that make me silently whisper death threats over a broadband connection, can you tell me why you do it? Why do you add the extra letters? What is the purpose? Peer pressure? Do you have a key stuck and your delete button is broken? Give me a good reason and I promise I'll shut up about it (actually, I won't, but I'll at least hear you out). Post a comment here or on the inevitable Facebook post and tell me why. I'm so curious it's bordering on insanity...maybe a little extreme, but what can I say? I enjoy reading anything that is well-written and as close to error free as possible. Maybe not anything, but I think you know what I mean.
I think that's about all I have to say on the subject, even though writing it out really didn't help with the slow boil of rage I feel whenever I think about having to read another post written by a 20 something female masquerading as a 12 year old girl. I suppose I'll just have to deal with the reality that I'm in the minority here and this behavior is probably here to stay. I will have my say about it though... (shit, there goes the damn ellipses again).
As always, if anyone has any specific questions, just post a comment and I'll do my best to answer.
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